A widening generation gap in the
technocratic Societies
Many parents complain their children are not responsible.
They are self centered and don’t listen to them. They want freedom. Some
parents even share that their children are hostile to them. On the other hand,
children say their parents are not considerate. They are always vindictive and
unnecessarily strict. They say parents never understand them, and are rarely
loving and cooperative. This has resulted into an unwanted tension in families,
with both parents and children involved in unsolicited blame games. This is
leading to an ever-widening generation gap, and it is more conspicuous in urban
families.
Owing to their busy schedule, parents in industrialized
world don’t have enough time for their children. Working mothers leave their infants
in day-care centers and go to office. Many others hire nurses and babysitters
to take care of their children while they are busy with their jobs or business.
Children, who grow up under institutional care or receive hired help this way,
grow up to be different from those who receive family care. They don’t have an
emotional attachment with their parents. Their relationship with parents is a
formal one, not bound by love and affection. They don’t have a sense of
responsibility towards their family too.
Many parents don’t spend time with their children even
when they are free. On weekends and vacations, children expect their parents to
be around them. They want them to listen
to and show interest in what they want to share with their parents. They don’t want their parents to do big
things for them. They have some little demands, as simple as being taken to the
cinema or fun parks for a day out so that they can have a quality time
together. But parents hardly manage this
time for their children. They have their own plans and programmes, and the
whims of their children are just insignificant compared to their plans. When
this persists, children gradually develop a negative attitude towards their
parents. They feel a lack of love and
care and feel that they have been neglected. This ultimately leads to a
situation where children begin to distance themselves from their parents.
Even in mornings
and evenings, some parents don’t take time to care for their children. Many
parents work overtime and are exhausted after work. Some others are
psychologically stressed due to their work load and inevitable pressures in
their workplaces. Sometimes, they have a pressure of projects and assignments
to be completed, and they have to spare extra hours at home to meet the
deadlines. Even when they aren’t busy, some parents don’t bother to look after
their children. They can’t entertain their mischiefs or don’t have the patience
to answer their queries. So, they either switch the TV onto a cartoon channel
and leave the child watching it or let it play games in the cell phones. For a
time being, it proves to be a good solution as it gives them a respite from
having to take care of the child. The television or cell phone engages the
child while parents take time to complete their work. But in the long run, it
turns to be counterproductive. The child gets addicted to the gadget and begins
to be hostile to the parents.
Children who grow
up with little family care tend to be reserved and hesitant. They can’t open up
with their family and relatives. Many of them feel low and inferior, and thus
prefer to live in isolation. They feel freer and more comfortable in the
company of their friends. But while at home, they lock themselves up in their
room and enjoy in the virtual world that they have created through the social
networking sites. They laugh, cry, frown or do anything there to release their
frustration and resentments. They avoid family functions and social gatherings.
This creates a gap between them and their parents, and parents think their
children are anti social. This vicious cycle continues.
Although children too are partly guilty, parents have a
larger share in inviting such unwanted tensions and gaps. Lack of real
communication with children and basically their tendency to take the help of
gadgets in parenting their children has proved costly for them. Parents sometimes
fail to understand what their children really want from them. By providing for
all their monetary needs, some parents think they have done everything for
their children. But this is a
misconception. What children need from their parents is time and attention.
Besides busy work schedules, our own craze for technology
has further widened the gap. Our
obsession with smart phones, tablets, internet, emails, and all the social
media apps has distanced us from our children further apart. We ourselves tend
to live in our digital lives rather than the physical one, and sharing stuff in
the social media is more important than sharing with our family and children. For
instance, instead of making mealtimes fun, we keep busy with our phones,
checking out the latest updates from our friends and replying to chats and
emails.
Therefore, rather than complaining about our children,
we, as parents, ought to find ways to maintain a balance between our family and
work. Most importantly, we ought to realize that a little time communicating
and listening to our children is more worth than many extra hours that we spend
earning for our children.
Durga
Gautam
Buddhanagar,
Kathmandu
